Being the Calm vs Keeping the Calm

There’s a certain type of person who becomes the person people turn to when things fall apart. You listen, you problem-solve, you hold space. You’re the one who keeps it together when the room gets tense. The one who can respond calmly when others are escalating. And somewhere along the way, that became your role. Not because you asked for it, but because you’re good at it. The truth is, being calm in everyone else’s chaos is a gift… but it’s also exhausting.

In helping professions especially, it’s easy to forget you’re allowed to fall apart too. You start thinking peace is something you are meant to give away instead of something you protect. But calm doesn’t mean carrying everyone else’s emotions on your back. It means learning how to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others put on theirs.

At work, there isn’t always an option to avoid the storm or fully protect your peace. So it becomes important to reset and let go what you can. For me that looks like turning my phone on silent, sitting in the car for five extra minutes before walking inside while I finish one last song, calling my mom on my drive home. Sometimes it is as small as filling my water bottle or doing one minute of box breathing. It’s those small pauses that help me separate my peace from other people’s panic.

The goal isn’t to stop being the steady one; it’s to make sure you don’t lose yourself in the process. Protecting your energy doesn’t make you selfish, it keeps you whole, and it can take time to train yourself into believing that. Because at the end of the day, even the calmest people deserve a soft place to land.

If this resonates, follow along on Instagram @s.idneylauren for more thoughts on balance, purpose, and building a life that feels like peace, even on the hard days