Crafting A Village

No one really tells you what it feels like to not have community. Not in the sense of being alone for a weekend, but in that quiet, lingering way that makes everyday life feel emptier. There’s a particular kind of ache that comes from realizing you don’t have a solid group to fall back on, or that the people who once filled your weekends and dinners have scattered into different chapters of their lives.

When I first started realizing that my circle had shifted, it felt like I was the only one still standing in the same place, watching everyone else move on. For a while, I thought maybe I’d done something wrong. That I wasn’t trying hard enough, or that maybe I was just meant to be independent. But what I’ve learned is that community isn’t something you stumble into by accident as an adult. You have to build it. Piece by piece. You have to put effort into it.

It starts small. A conversation with a coworker that turns into lunch, volunteering at an event and seeing familiar faces the next time, saying “yes” to a casual invite even when you’re tired. Slowly, the awkward small talk turns into comfort, and the people you once waved to from a distance become the ones who text to check in. I’ve been practicing texting people whenever I think of them, because I realized how often I was supporting from a distance without showing people I cared.

Finding community as an adult can feel slow and uncertain, especially when life already feels full and overwhelming. But it’s worth it. Every little connection you build becomes a reminder that you’re not doing life alone.

And maybe that’s the real beauty of it. When community doesn’t come easily, you appreciate it differently. You show up more intentionally. You listen deeper. You care harder.

Try showing up once this week — for a neighbor, a volunteer event, or even yourself. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to start. Find me on Instagram @s.idneylauren and who knows, maybe that will be a small piece of community while we learn to go further!