There’s something unique about realizing that life doesn’t look the way you once pictured it. For a long time, I imagined a version of success that was clean and linear. Graduate early, have the degree, find the career, keep climbing. I thought constant motion meant I was doing something right. But somewhere along the way, I ended up in a high-stress career that demands a lot of heart. The kind of work that can change lives, but can also quietly chip away at your own peace.
Now, I’m building a different kind of life. One that still includes long days, heavy stories, and the emotional weight that comes with caring deeply but also one with balance, structure, and softness. I’m trying to learn how to separate myself from work when I walk out the door and who I am beyond my job. It wasn’t until I sat in graduate level classes and was asked to present who I am that I realized I had nothing to describe myself beyond my title and my work. I had become consumed by those 40 hours a week that I no longer knew how to be anything more than that during my off hours. I still don’t have it all figured out and some weeks still feel that way, but I’m trying. I’m learning how to breathe again after the hard days, to fill my weekends with small things that refill my cup: coffee runs, volunteering in lighter ways, meaningful time with friends or family, or just watching a comfort show without guilt.
It’s not the life I imagined at five or sixteen or even twenty. However, its opened doors, introduced me to new friends, spoiled my three fur babies, kept me comfortable, allowed me to work on another degree, and taught me so much. And to be honest, I’m not even sure right now what my dream job or dream life looks like (and I’m not sure I ever have). Just trying to be whole and comfortable while I work on figuring it out and finding my way.
If you’re in a season where your work takes more from you than you planned, I hope you find ways to give back to yourself too. Learning to cope, to rest, and to recover doesn’t make you weak—it keeps you whole.
Come say hi over on Instagram @s.idneylauren or comment here—I’d love to hear what you’re learning to build, too.
life outside of 9-5 
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